Smile

”I’ve tasted all your affections
From my mind
My heart
My body
And my soul”With Wings, Amy Stroup

You should smile more often when you’re sad, happy, sick… all the time, you don’t even need a reason.
I know I have no right to tell you that (you’re crying becausee me), but I hate seeing like this.
I hurt you and I shouldn’t have! You know I’m a crazy mess and I don’t deserve your attention, your love,e you.

Why did you let me in anyway?
I’m not worth it, Abby! I’m an awful person, a liar. No matter how much I try, I’ll never be good, right or, at least, a little bit close to the boyfriend you deserve.
I am bad. I’m bad for me, my friends, my family, for all the people including you.
I don’t know how to love. I mean, yeah, I love you with all my heart, I really do, but I have no idea how to show it. I’m not good with words, I always do stupid things when I try to confess my love to you, upset you, just like I did this evening.
I’m sorry, Abby! I’m sorry I can’t be a better man for you! I’m trying, I really am.
I don’t want to see you like this… because of me.
I close my eyes, hearing your words over and over again: ‘’I can’t do this, Stefan… not anymore.’’, and suddenly I feel you in my arms crying.
‘’I’m so sorry!’’
My eyes are open; my hands fly to your cheeks and clean them with my fingers.
‘’Shhh, it’s okay, Just, please, stop crying! You are even more beautiful when you smile,’’ I whisper jokingly when I hear your sighs,
And it works, I see you smiling, making me feel my heart again.
You are so beautiful!
Kind.
Smart.
Perfect.
‘’I’m sorry, I didn’t mean what I said.’’
I smile and nod. It’s okay, babe, it isn’t your fault. Then, I kissed your forehead kindly trying to show you my deeply love. Your big eyes light up, like a little child’, so I can’t help but giggle. You didn’t expect that, did you?
You are so adorable!
‘’I know, love. It’s my fault anyway. I am truly sorry.’’
You shook you head: ‘’It is my fault, too.’’
C’mon, buddy! You’ve been felt it for a while, all you have to say is three little words.
I can do this!
‘’I love you ,Abby! Now, please, smile to me!”

*photo source: Camille

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